The Water Cooler (Fast) - Bees (Series 003, Episode 007)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

Free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler (Fast)

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post. 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here. 

Episode 7 - Bees (Fast) 

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post. 

Featuring the vocal talents of Sophie Iafrate (Susan).  (Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com'),

Susan: Hello Keith.  What have you got there?

Keith: I thought our office was looking a little drab so I have brought some flowers in to liven it up.   A little bit of colour will boost our morale.

Susan: That is a lovely idea, but I am very allergic to flowers.  Didn’t you hear me saying to Janet yesterday how bad my hay fever was this year? 

Keith: How terrible Susan, I had no idea.  Well, I will keep them to my side of the office then; I’ll even open the window to ventilate the room a bit.  Here, you can put the trophy I won for being a good team player on your desk; that will keep your side of the office from looking too glum.

Susan:  You didn’t win that trophy Keith, I know that you bought it yourself; your story for why you were awarded that trophy changes every time.  Besides, it is no good, there is too much pollen in the air now.  I will go and see if I can work in another office for the rest of the day.

Keith:  Finally, an office all to myself. The perfect crime! Eh eh eh.

A few minutes later…

Janet: Keith, thank goodness I have found you here.

Keith: I was only getting a quick cup of coffee, I will be back in my office in just a jiffy.

Janet:  No!  Don’t even think of going back into your office – it is full of bees!

Keith: Full of bees? 

Janet: Yes, I have no idea why, but a huge swarm of bees has flown in through your window.  Something must have attracted them, and I can’t see how we are going to get them out again.  We have closed off the room.  Thank goodness Susan wasn’t in there at the time; she said that something in there was aggravating her hay fever.  Ah, there you are Susan, is everything OK?  

         

Susan: Yes.  I was going to move all my things into the storage room at the end of the corridor until the bee situation is sorted out.  That will do as an office for the short-term.

Janet:  Hmm, I’m not sure that is the best room for you Susan.  It’s really dusty in there, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that room wouldn’t also set off your hay fever.  Tell you what, I am away on business for the rest of the week, so why don’t you take my office?

Keith: I suppose I will have to join you.

Janet: Sorry Keith, but even though my office may look expansive and spacious, it is really only due to the tasteful styling and clever layout of furniture.  Honestly, there is only room for one person to comfortably work in there.  I know the storage room isn’t very nice, but considering that you don’t suffer from hay fever, I think it is best that you take that as your temporary office, just until we get pest control in.

Keith: The storage room! That doesn’t even have a window.

Susan: Well, how about you take your hard-won trophy in there with you?  That is sure to brighten the place up.

The Water Cooler (Slow) - Bees (Series 003, Episode 007)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

Free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler (Slow)

Too slow? Try the faster version in the next post. 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here.

Episode 7 - Bees (Slow) 

Too slow? Try the faster version in the next post. 

Featuring the vocal talents of Sophie Iafrate (Susan).  (Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com'), 

Susan: Hello Keith.  What have you got there?

Keith: I thought our office was looking a little drab so I have brought some flowers in to liven it up.   A little bit of colour will boost our morale.

Susan: That is a lovely idea, but I am very allergic to flowers.  Didn’t you hear me saying to Janet yesterday how bad my hay fever was this year? 

Keith: How terrible Susan, I had no idea.  Well, I will keep them to my side of the office then; I’ll even open the window to ventilate the room a bit.  Here, you can put the trophy I won for being a good team player on your desk; that will keep your side of the office from looking too glum.

Susan:  You didn’t win that trophy Keith, I know that you bought it yourself; your story for why you were awarded that trophy changes every time.  Besides, it is no good, there is too much pollen in the air now.  I will go and see if I can work in another office for the rest of the day.

Keith:  Finally, an office all to myself. The perfect crime! Eh eh eh.

A few minutes later…

Janet: Keith, thank goodness I have found you here.

Keith: I was only getting a quick cup of coffee, I will be back in my office in just a jiffy.

Janet:  No!  Don’t even think of going back into your office – it is full of bees!

Keith: Full of bees? 

Janet: Yes, I have no idea why, but a huge swarm of bees has flown in through your window.  Something must have attracted them, and I can’t see how we are going to get them out again.  We have closed off the room.  Thank goodness Susan wasn’t in there at the time; she said that something in there was aggravating her hay fever.  Ah, there you are Susan, is everything OK?  

         

Susan: Yes.  I was going to move all my things into the storage room at the end of the corridor until the bee situation is sorted out.  That will do as an office for the short-term.

Janet:  Hmm, I’m not sure that is the best room for you Susan.  It’s really dusty in there, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that room wouldn’t also set off your hay fever.  Tell you what, I am away on business for the rest of the week, so why don’t you take my office?

Keith: I suppose I will have to join you.

Janet: Sorry Keith, but even though my office may look expansive and spacious, it is really only due to the tasteful styling and clever layout of furniture.  Honestly, there is only room for one person to comfortably work in there.  I know the storage room isn’t very nice, but considering that you don’t suffer from hay fever, I think it is best that you take that as your temporary office, just until we get pest control in.

Keith: The storage room! That doesn’t even have a window.

Susan: Well, how about you take your hard-won trophy in there with you?  That is sure to brighten the place up.

The Water Cooler (Slow) - The New Printer (Series 003, Episode 006)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

Free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler (Slow)

Too slow? Try the faster version in the next post. 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here.

Episode 6 - The New Printer (Slow) 

Too slow? Try the faster version in the next post. 

Featuring the vocal talents of Sophie Iafrate (Susan).  (Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com'), 

Keith : Good morning Susan, I see you are admiring the new printer.

Susan: Hi Keith.  Yes, it is about time we had a new one and, with all the new features on this one, I think it will make life much easier.

K: Absolutely, especially as this one is voice-activated.

S: Voice-activated? Are you sure? I am sure I didn’t see anything like that in the instruction manual when I was reading it.

K: No one actually reads instruction manuals. You need to just have a practice, a bit of trial and error. It is scientifically proven that there is no substitute for hands-on experience; reading instruction manuals is not going to do you any good. Take it from me.

S: I will feel really silly talking to a printer. It doesn’t seem right.

K: Oh Susan, you need to embrace the future! Just use a nice assertive voice and be clear with your instructions and the printer will do whatever you ask.

S: (clears throat) Print the document I have just sent to you, in colour on double sided paper.

K: Don’t forget to say please, Susan, where are your manners?

S: Oops, sorry. Please print the document I have just sent to you, in colour on double-sided paper. Printer? Did you hear? Print! In colour! Ugh I hate technology, I must be doing something wrong.

Janet: Morning all.  What on earth are you doing Susan?

S: I just can’t get this thing to print.

J: Well you’re not going to get anywhere by shouting at it, it can’t hear you.

S: But I thought it was voice activated… I was just practising with it…trying to get some hands-on experience and…learn through trial and error.

J: Voice activated?  Don’t be daft, we’re a sales company, not NASA.

K: I often see you struggling with technology Susan, and I hate to see this…waste of company time.  I think maybe you should take one of the lunchtime IT refresher courses that the IT department run.

J: Good idea, Keith.  Are you free this lunchtime Susan?

S: Well, yes, but I…

J: Great, it’s settled, I’ll speak to IT to arrange it.  

K: Ha! Ha! Ha!

S: Very funny, Keith.  That’s my lunchtime wasted, I was looking forward to an hour of peace and quiet.

K: Got you hook, line and sinker…Ha! Ha! Ha!

Later …

K (to himself): It’s been ages since I last used a laminating machine, I didn’t even realize we had one in the office. What’s this? Instructions for using the touch screen features of this machine. Oh, nice try Susan, but you can’t fool me that easily. She must have hidden the keyboard somewhere around here.

Janet: Keith, whatever are you doing?

K: Hi Janet, I’ve just got some laminating to do.

J: Yes, I guessed as much, but, what I meant was, why are you rummaging around underneath the table?

K: I was just looking for the keyboard that goes with this machine.   I think Susan must have hidden it somewhere.

J: Why would she have done that?  In fact, I don’t think you need a keyboard for this machine, it’s touch-screen isn’t it?  Susan, can you come here a second?

S: Sure!

J: Keith’s having trouble with this machine; you’ve not hidden the keyboard have you?

S: No, there’s no keyboard, it’s touch-screen.  You just click here [beep] and then here [beep] put the thing you wanted to laminate here and then click “go”.  [beep] … And it’s done.  Simple! In fact, the instructions are right here in front of you.

J: Honestly Keith, sometimes I wonder if you walk around with your eyes shut. I am surprised you can’t work out how to use the laminating machine, though, considering you are always saying how you are a technophile and even Susan, who claims to not understand technology at all, is an expert at it. Maybe I should send you on an IT course as well as Susan.

K: Oh no Janet, there is no call for that; I wouldn’t want to put you out.

J: Not at all.  It is important that you understand how to use all the machines correctly; it saves time in the long run. Having said that, from her talent with the laminator it’s obvious that Susan learns best from hands-on experience so I’m not sure the course would be much use for her, she’ll get the hang of the new printer soon enough. I’ll tell IT to expect you instead.  Thanks for your help Susan.

K: Yes, thanks for your help, Susan.

S: I’m always happy to help! Enjoy your lunch Keith. 

The Water Cooler (Fast) - The New Printer (Series 003, Episode 006)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

Free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler (Fast)

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post. 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here. 

Episode 6 - The New Printer (Fast) 

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post. 

Featuring the vocal talents of Sophie Iafrate (Susan).  (Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com'),

Keith : Good morning Susan, I see you are admiring the new printer.

Susan: Hi Keith.  Yes, it is about time we had a new one and, with all the new features on this one, I think it will make life much easier.

K: Absolutely, especially as this one is voice-activated.

S: Voice-activated? Are you sure? I am sure I didn’t see anything like that in the instruction manual when I was reading it.

K: No one actually reads instruction manuals. You need to just have a practice, a bit of trial and error. It is scientifically proven that there is no substitute for hands-on experience; reading instruction manuals is not going to do you any good. Take it from me.

S: I will feel really silly talking to a printer. It doesn’t seem right.

K: Oh Susan, you need to embrace the future! Just use a nice assertive voice and be clear with your instructions and the printer will do whatever you ask.

S: (clears throat) Print the document I have just sent to you, in colour on double sided paper.

K: Don’t forget to say please, Susan, where are your manners?

S: Oops, sorry. Please print the document I have just sent to you, in colour on double-sided paper. Printer? Did you hear? Print! In colour! Ugh I hate technology, I must be doing something wrong.

Janet: Morning all.  What on earth are you doing Susan?

S: I just can’t get this thing to print.

J: Well you’re not going to get anywhere by shouting at it, it can’t hear you.

S: But I thought it was voice activated… I was just practising with it…trying to get some hands-on experience and…learn through trial and error.

J: Voice activated?  Don’t be daft, we’re a sales company, not NASA.

K: I often see you struggling with technology Susan, and I hate to see this…waste of company time.  I think maybe you should take one of the lunchtime IT refresher courses that the IT department run.

J: Good idea, Keith.  Are you free this lunchtime Susan?

S: Well, yes, but I…

J: Great, it’s settled, I’ll speak to IT to arrange it.  

K: Ha! Ha! Ha!

S: Very funny, Keith.  That’s my lunchtime wasted, I was looking forward to an hour of peace and quiet.

K: Got you hook, line and sinker…Ha! Ha! Ha!

Later …

K (to himself): It’s been ages since I last used a laminating machine, I didn’t even realize we had one in the office. What’s this? Instructions for using the touch screen features of this machine. Oh, nice try Susan, but you can’t fool me that easily. She must have hidden the keyboard somewhere around here.

Janet: Keith, whatever are you doing?

K: Hi Janet, I’ve just got some laminating to do.

J: Yes, I guessed as much, but, what I meant was, why are you rummaging around underneath the table?

K: I was just looking for the keyboard that goes with this machine.   I think Susan must have hidden it somewhere.

J: Why would she have done that?  In fact, I don’t think you need a keyboard for this machine, it’s touch-screen isn’t it?  Susan, can you come here a second?

S: Sure!

J: Keith’s having trouble with this machine; you’ve not hidden the keyboard have you?

S: No, there’s no keyboard, it’s touch-screen.  You just click here [beep] and then here [beep] put the thing you wanted to laminate here and then click “go”.  [beep] … And it’s done.  Simple! In fact, the instructions are right here in front of you.

J: Honestly Keith, sometimes I wonder if you walk around with your eyes shut. I am surprised you can’t work out how to use the laminating machine, though, considering you are always saying how you are a technophile and even Susan, who claims to not understand technology at all, is an expert at it. Maybe I should send you on an IT course as well as Susan.

K: Oh no Janet, there is no call for that; I wouldn’t want to put you out.

J: Not at all.  It is important that you understand how to use all the machines correctly; it saves time in the long run. Having said that, from her talent with the laminator it’s obvious that Susan learns best from hands-on experience so I’m not sure the course would be much use for her, she’ll get the hang of the new printer soon enough. I’ll tell IT to expect you instead.  Thanks for your help Susan.

K: Yes, thanks for your help, Susan.

S: I’m always happy to help! Enjoy your lunch Keith.