The Water Cooler (Slow) - The "I Love Elvis" Mug (Series 003, Episode 002)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler (Slow)

Too slow? Try the faster version in the next post. 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here (opens in a new window)

Episode 2 - The "I Love Elvis" Mug (Slow) 
Too slow? Try the faster version in the next post. 

(Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com')

Susan: Keith, you’ve stolen my mug again!  Do you do this just to wind me up?

Keith: Oh, I am sorry, the pictures are similar, I get them confused.

S: Rubbish!  Your mug has got a picture of a woman whose clothes come off when you put hot water in it, and mine’s got a lovely picture of a whale.

K: Well…the lettering looks the same, it’s easy to mix them up.

S: Hmm.  Well it doesn’t matter anymore, I have a new mug, so now if you nick one, I can just use the other.

K: Ooh, what type of mug is it?

S: It’s an “I love Elvis” mug, there’s a picture of him, and it says “I love Elvis”, and look!  The lettering is completely different to yours so even you can’t get confused.

K: Well, that is fancy.  Shall I stick it in the cupboard with the others for you?

S: Oh, thank you, you are kind.

K: So it says “I love Elvis” does it? Not for long. Eh! Eh! Eh!

Later that day … 

S: I see you’re using the “I love Elvis” mug, you fiend.

K: Oh, so I am, that was clumsy of me.

S: No matter, I have my original cup.  Oh hi Janet, if you’re looking for those files you wanted, I put them on your desk.

Janet: No, I got the files thanks, I’m looking for my mug, you don’t happen to have seen it do you?  My daughter gave it to me for my birthday.  It’s quite distinctive, it’s got a picture of Elvis on it and it says “I love Elvis”, I can’t think where I put it and I’d hate to have lost it.

K: Umm…

J: Oh, you have it, Keith.  Why on earth would you use my mug?  Don’t you know how annoying that is?

K: Sorry, I took it by accident, I’ll wash it up and I’ll bring it to you.

J: No I’ll take it now, and wash it up myself, seeing as you’ve finished with it.  Hang on, have you written on it?  You cheeky so-and-so, you’ve changed the “I love Elvis” to “I love Elves”.  Was that an accident too?

K Sorry, I didn’t realise it was your mug, I thought it was Susan’s.

J: So you purposefully stole and then defaced what you thought was Susan’s mug? 

K: I…er…

J: I want my mug back the way it was by this afternoon, and if you can’t wash it off then you are to replace it.

K: Yes Janet.

J: And I don’t want to hear of you stealing or defacing anyone else’s mug.  Is that clear?

K: Yes Janet.

J: Honestly, I don’t know how we stay ahead of our competitors when we can’t even have a cup of tea without a drama.

…

K: Susan, I thought it was your “I love Elvis” mug.

S: No, Janet must have accidentally left it on my desk this morning.  I just have my cup with the picture of a whale.

K: Did you do that just to get me into trouble with the boss?

S: Oh, I am sorry, the pictures are similar, I get them confused.

Water Cooler Notes

"Mug" - a big cup.

"Wind me up" - annoy me.

“Different to” – in formal British English it is best to use ‘different from’ instead of ‘different to’.  ‘Different to’ is not wrong anymore because so many people make this mistake that it has stopped being a mistake, but it is still controversial.  In informal British English ‘different to’ is fine.

"Clumsy" – careless.

"Distinctive" – obviously different from others.

"Hang on" – an interjection meaning “wait a second”.

"So-and-so" – an informal word for a person who is annoying, or who is disliked, because they behave badly in a particular way.

"Defaced" – ruined/spoiled the surface of something.

The Water Cooler (Fast) - The "I Love Elvis" Mug (Series 003, Episode 002)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler (Fast)

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post. 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here (opens in a new window)

Episode 2 - The "I Love Elvis" Mug (Fast) 

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post. 

(Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com')

Susan: Keith, you’ve stolen my mug again!  Do you do this just to wind me up?

Keith: Oh, I am sorry, the pictures are similar, I get them confused.

S: Rubbish!  Your mug has got a picture of a woman whose clothes come off when you put hot water in it, and mine’s got a lovely picture of a whale.

K: Well…the lettering looks the same, it’s easy to mix them up.

S: Hmm.  Well it doesn’t matter anymore, I have a new mug, so now if you nick one, I can just use the other.

K: Ooh, what type of mug is it?

S: It’s an “I love Elvis” mug, there’s a picture of him, and it says “I love Elvis”, and look!  The lettering is completely different to yours so even you can’t get confused.

K: Well, that is fancy.  Shall I stick it in the cupboard with the others for you?

S: Oh, thank you, you are kind.

K: So it says “I love Elvis” does it? Not for long. Eh! Eh! Eh!

Later that day … 

S: I see you’re using the “I love Elvis” mug, you fiend.

K: Oh, so I am, that was clumsy of me.

S: No matter, I have my original cup.  Oh hi Janet, if you’re looking for those files you wanted, I put them on your desk.

Janet: No, I got the files thanks, I’m looking for my mug, you don’t happen to have seen it do you?  My daughter gave it to me for my birthday.  It’s quite distinctive, it’s got a picture of Elvis on it and it says “I love Elvis”, I can’t think where I put it and I’d hate to have lost it.

K: Umm…

J: Oh, you have it, Keith.  Why on earth would you use my mug?  Don’t you know how annoying that is?

K: Sorry, I took it by accident, I’ll wash it up and I’ll bring it to you.

J: No I’ll take it now, and wash it up myself, seeing as you’ve finished with it.  Hang on, have you written on it?  You cheeky so-and-so, you’ve changed the “I love Elvis” to “I love Elves”.  Was that an accident too?

K Sorry, I didn’t realise it was your mug, I thought it was Susan’s.

J: So you purposefully stole and then defaced what you thought was Susan’s mug? 

K: I…er…

J: I want my mug back the way it was by this afternoon, and if you can’t wash it off then you are to replace it.

K: Yes Janet.

J: And I don’t want to hear of you stealing or defacing anyone else’s mug.  Is that clear?

K: Yes Janet.

J: Honestly, I don’t know how we stay ahead of our competitors when we can’t even have a cup of tea without a drama.

…

K: Susan, I thought it was your “I love Elvis” mug.

S: No, Janet must have accidentally left it on my desk this morning.  I just have my cup with the picture of a whale.

K: Did you do that just to get me into trouble with the boss?

S: Oh, I am sorry, the pictures are similar, I get them confused.

Water Cooler Notes

"Mug" - a big cup.

"Wind me up" - annoy me.

“Different to” – in formal British English it is best to use ‘different from’ instead of ‘different to’.  ‘Different to’ is not wrong anymore because so many people make this mistake that it has stopped being a mistake, but it is still controversial.  In informal British English ‘different to’ is fine.

"Clumsy" – careless.

"Distinctive" – obviously different from others.

"Hang on" – an interjection meaning “wait a second”.

"So-and-so" – an informal word for a person who is annoying, or who is disliked, because they behave badly in a particular way.

"Defaced" – ruined/spoiled the surface of something.

The Water Cooler - The 4 o' Clock Cake Break (Series 003, Episode 001)

'Hear English' is a blog that provides podcasts and transcripts to help people learn English, find us at http://hearenglishhere.blogspot.com/.

free image courtesy of 'stockfreeimages.com'

The Water Cooler 

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen.  You can get the mp3. here (opens in a new window)

Episode 1 - The 4 o' Clock Cake Break
(first published in "the AngloKlaxon", free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com')

Susan: Good morning.

Keith: Hi, I’m Keith, you must be the new girl in accounts.  Susan isn’t it?

S: Yes, that’s me.

K: How’s your first day been so far?

S: Oh not bad, just getting to grips with the new computer system, meeting everyone, finding where everything is and doing the admin.

K: You’ll be settled in in no time.  What firm were you at before?

S: I was at Pierson’s as an accounts assistant.

K: Which means that this is a bit of a promotion?

S: Yeah, it’s a lot more responsibility. I’m a bit nervous, but I’m looking forward to getting stuck in.  The team seems nice.

K: They’re really good guys, generally, but there are one or two practical jokers.

S: Anyone I should watch out for? 

K: You’ll figure them out pretty soon.  I’m sure you’ll be fine as long as you stick to the office traditions.  Which reminds me: what cake did you make?

S: Cake?

K: Yeah, one of our oldest traditions is that when someone new starts they bring in something for the four o’ clock cake break.  Didn’t anyone tell you?

S: No, they didn’t mention that.

K: Oh dear.  Well, it’s not the end of the world; you’ve still got time to buy one.  I doubt anyone will mind too much that it’s not home-made, just so long as you’ve made the effort.  Well, I ought to get back to work, see you later.

Later that day…

Janet: Keith?

K: Yes Janet? 

J: Can I have a word?

K: Actually I was just about to…err…

J: It won’t take a second.

K: Err, ok.

J: I’ve just had Susan asking me where the nearest bakery is so that she can buy something for the four o’ clock cake break.  Do you know anything about this?

K: Err…No.

J: Because she said she was glad you told her because she didn’t want to get on the wrong side of the staff on her first day by coming in empty-handed.

K: Ah yes, it might have been me who told her.

J: But Keith, we don’t have a four o’ clock cake break.

K: No, but I thought it might be good for moral if we started to have one.

J: She seemed under the impression that we always had one.

K: Maybe she misunderstood what I said.

J: Was it also a misunderstanding that made her believe that by tradition, as the new employee, it was her who had to buy the cakes? 

K: Well…what is a tradition anyway?  It’s just something that happens because it’s always happened.  They all have to start sometime, it’s just a coincidence that this tradition has started now…

J: Keith?

K: Yes Janet?

J: You will apologise to Susan and pay her back for the cake.

K: Yes Janet.

J: And leave her alone for pity’s sake, it’s the poor girl's first day.

Water Cooler Notes

It was her who had to buy the cakes - this is grammatically incorrect, it should be "it was she who had to buy the cakes", but it is a mistake that is often made.

Ltd – abbreviation for ‘limited’, it refers to the way a business is set up.  If ‘ltd’ follows a company name, it means it is a private company limited by shares or by guarantee.  This basically means that if the company owes money that it can’t pay and goes into debt, the shareholders and owners are not liable for the debt, their liability is limited, and they won’t have to pay the debt.

In accounts – in the accounting department of the firm.  Office workers often shorten job titles in this way, such as ‘repro’ instead of ‘reprographics’ (the photocopying department), or ‘archives’ instead of ‘the archiving department’.  People, especially professionals, sometimes introduce their job in this way saying ‘I’m in banking’ rather than ‘I am a banker’ or ‘I work in banking’.

Getting to grips – learning how to use.    

Admin – short for administration, it means red-tape, or paperwork.

Be settled in – be comfortable in a new environment, such as a new house, or new job.

Promotion – a higher position or rank (usually with better pay).

Getting stuck in – starting to work hard.

Practical joker – someone who plays tricks on people to make them look foolish.

It’s not the end of the world – it’s not a really bad situation.

Made the effort – tried to do something.

Can I have a word? – Can I talk to you? (although this is a question, often it is a rhetorical question, a question that does not require an answer, and is just a way of getting someone’s attention).

Coincidence – an accident where two unrelated things occur at the same time.

Leave her alone – stop bothering her.

For pity’s sake – a way of expressing annoyance or anger without swearing or blaspheming (these are called ‘minced oaths’), such as ‘for crying out load’